Nadacowboy

When I first switched my rhyming style from the more traditional to the more Western influenced poetry, I started reading established cowboy poets. One in particular spent an entire poem complaining about wannabe poets muddying up the waters of Western wisdom. So, I felt I had to let folks know from the very beginning that I am Not A Cowboy.

Nadacowboy

I am not a cowboy,
though I wear a cowboy hat
and the boots I wear have pointed toes
and heels that ain’t near flat.
I want to be a cowboy,
but I’m stopped by one condition
I just can’t get a handle
on those cowboy definitions.

When you say Ranch,
I think salad dressing
and that’s not all, there’s more
a Quarter Horse is what kids ride
outside the K-Mart store
A Bull is the just first part
of an expletive deleted
and Pony’s just a little keg of beer,
too soon depleted.
I’m not sure what a Cayuse is,
but, it’s my recollection
that the Spurs play basketball
and Red Eye’s an infection.

No, I am not a cowboy
and I guess that’s clear to you
but, I read books by Cowboy Poets
to find out what to do.
How I should walk, how I should talk,
and even how to spit.
When to drink and when to eat
and when to take a
sit-down with some pardners,
play some cards and chew the fat
about the Dallas Cowboys
and topics such as that.

A fella told me “get a horse”,
that’s the thing that I should do.
So, I got a little pinto,
but the body rusted through.
I used to have Colt 45’s.
I’d drink some every day
now, the Saddlebags it gave me
just won’t go away.

But I want to be a cowboy
wearin’ jeans and denim shirts
and dance that Texas Two Step
till my old doggies hurt.
I’ll eat my Texas Chili hot,
washed down with Lone Star Beer.
I’ll vacation at a Dude Ranch
and maybe milk myself a steer.
No, I am not a cowboy
but I think that I could be
once I get a handle
on their terminology.

Jeff Hildebrandt © 1999