My wife's cousin Craig sent me a story that just begged to be turned into a range rhyme. So, here ya go:
Change
The owner of the J bar H had supper with the crew
and later told the foreman, “There’s something you must do.
I’ve noticed quite a pungent and unpleasant sorta stink
coming from the bunkhouse. So this is what I think;
If the men would change their underwear more often than they do
the place would smell much better. Now, I’ll leave it up to you.”
So, the foreman told the wranglers, “The boss thinks you guys stink
and says to change your underwear. So this is what I think;
Slim, you change with Mitchell and Dusty change with Bob
and if you change back in a week, that should do the job.”
The moral of this story has been known for quite a spell.
Not every change that’s promised will take away the smell.
Jeff Hildebrandt © March 8, 2013
Friday, March 8, 2013
Tuesday, March 5, 2013
The Marriage Seminar
I hear a lot of commercials for Marriage Enrichment weekends. I wonder, have you ever been to one? Those commercials, coupled with a Cowboy Wisdon posting started me thinking about paying more attention at home.
The Marriage Seminar
Communication is the key to maintaining wedded bliss.
So, you must pay attention or you might end up like this.
She took him to a seminar for marriage life enriching.
Entranced, she leaned up in her chair while he just sat there twitching.
Then the leader asked a question and he dropped his coffee cup.
He was sure he knew the answer. He was asked to please stand up
and name her favorite flower. She thought, this’ll be a shocker.
But, proudly, he proclaimed to all, “I’m sure it’s Betty Crocker.”
Jeff Hildebrandt © March 5, 2013
The Marriage Seminar
Communication is the key to maintaining wedded bliss.
So, you must pay attention or you might end up like this.
She took him to a seminar for marriage life enriching.
Entranced, she leaned up in her chair while he just sat there twitching.
Then the leader asked a question and he dropped his coffee cup.
He was sure he knew the answer. He was asked to please stand up
and name her favorite flower. She thought, this’ll be a shocker.
But, proudly, he proclaimed to all, “I’m sure it’s Betty Crocker.”
Jeff Hildebrandt © March 5, 2013
Wednesday, February 6, 2013
His and Hers
I thought about calling this "The Diary of Ann and Frank" but decided against it. I want to thank Craig C. for sending the story this little bit of nonsense is based on.
His and Hers
She wrote down in her diary, “My husband’s acting funny.
He didn’t talk thru dinner. I think it might be money.
But when I quizzed him all he said was nothing is the matter.
Driving home we didn’t have the normal sort of patter
so I asked him if he’s mad about some thing that I have done.
I told him that I loved him and that he’s the only one.
But he seemed to ignore me. I don’t know if he heard
cause he just kept on driving and didn’t say a word.
When we got home, he watched TV and didn’t say a peep
So I got up and went to bed and cried myself to sleep.”
He wrote in his journal, “I feel like such a nut.
There’s no way in the world I should have missed a 2 foot putt.”
Jeff Hildebrandt © Feb. 6, 2013
His and Hers
She wrote down in her diary, “My husband’s acting funny.
He didn’t talk thru dinner. I think it might be money.
But when I quizzed him all he said was nothing is the matter.
Driving home we didn’t have the normal sort of patter
so I asked him if he’s mad about some thing that I have done.
I told him that I loved him and that he’s the only one.
But he seemed to ignore me. I don’t know if he heard
cause he just kept on driving and didn’t say a word.
When we got home, he watched TV and didn’t say a peep
So I got up and went to bed and cried myself to sleep.”
He wrote in his journal, “I feel like such a nut.
There’s no way in the world I should have missed a 2 foot putt.”
Jeff Hildebrandt © Feb. 6, 2013
Thursday, January 31, 2013
Lessons Learned
The inspiration for this rhyme came from a Facebook posting by Mark Miller. The names and some locations have been changed to protect the innocent.
Lessons Learned
Charlie married a woman from up near Milwaukee
and said it was rough at the start.
He told her job was to clean and to cook
but she didn’t take it to heart… at first.
Then on the third day when Charlie came home
he noticed a remarkable change.
The house had been cleaned, the dishes were washed
and his dinner was hot on the range.
Chester married a woman from up near New Jersey
He says that his wife’s a blond beauty
but he had to keep telling her time and again
that cooking and cleaning’s her duty.
It didn’t sink in till about the third day
when their lives went from shambles to stable.
The house had been cleaned, the windows were washed
and dinner was there on the table.
Bob married a woman from somewhere near Dallas
and told her what all he expected.
Like cooking and cleaning and mowing the lawn
and to make sure he wasn’t neglected.
The first day he didn’t see anything
He saw nothing the day after that
By the third day the swelling subsided.
Now he has his home duties down pat.
Jeff Hildebrandt © Jan. 30, 2013
Lessons Learned
Charlie married a woman from up near Milwaukee
and said it was rough at the start.
He told her job was to clean and to cook
but she didn’t take it to heart… at first.
Then on the third day when Charlie came home
he noticed a remarkable change.
The house had been cleaned, the dishes were washed
and his dinner was hot on the range.
Chester married a woman from up near New Jersey
He says that his wife’s a blond beauty
but he had to keep telling her time and again
that cooking and cleaning’s her duty.
It didn’t sink in till about the third day
when their lives went from shambles to stable.
The house had been cleaned, the windows were washed
and dinner was there on the table.
Bob married a woman from somewhere near Dallas
and told her what all he expected.
Like cooking and cleaning and mowing the lawn
and to make sure he wasn’t neglected.
The first day he didn’t see anything
He saw nothing the day after that
By the third day the swelling subsided.
Now he has his home duties down pat.
Jeff Hildebrandt © Jan. 30, 2013
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
Russell's Rules
I found this little story. It may be something you've seen as well.
"Russell J. Larsen had the 'Five Rules for Men to Follow for a Happy Life' inscribed on his tombstone in Logan, Utah." I thought this looked like fodder for a poem. So, fodder in-fodder out:
Russell’s Rules
Russell was a cowboy
and like all cowboys should
he lived his life by simple rules;
easily understood.
He had 5 rules for happiness
which seemed to serve him well.
He left them on his tombstone
in hopes that they would tell
other men the secret
to this Utah cowboy’s bliss.
So, when it comes to peace at home,
his guidelines tell us this:
A man should have a woman
who will cook his meals and clean
A man should have a woman
who won’t lie and treat him mean
A man should have a woman
who is funny. Keep in mind
he should also have a woman
who is loving, sweet and kind.
And what is most important,
he tells his cowboy brothers;
None of these four women
should know about the others.
Jeff Hildebrandt © Jan. 22, 2013
"Russell J. Larsen had the 'Five Rules for Men to Follow for a Happy Life' inscribed on his tombstone in Logan, Utah." I thought this looked like fodder for a poem. So, fodder in-fodder out:
Russell’s Rules
Russell was a cowboy
and like all cowboys should
he lived his life by simple rules;
easily understood.
He had 5 rules for happiness
which seemed to serve him well.
He left them on his tombstone
in hopes that they would tell
other men the secret
to this Utah cowboy’s bliss.
So, when it comes to peace at home,
his guidelines tell us this:
A man should have a woman
who will cook his meals and clean
A man should have a woman
who won’t lie and treat him mean
A man should have a woman
who is funny. Keep in mind
he should also have a woman
who is loving, sweet and kind.
And what is most important,
he tells his cowboy brothers;
None of these four women
should know about the others.
Jeff Hildebrandt © Jan. 22, 2013
Friday, January 18, 2013
Transition
Just about everyday, someone we know marks a transition. If it's a birthday, you might want to share this with them. That's what I'm doing. Happy Birthday, Kara!
Transition
Every day, we make transitions
from what was to what will be;
Moving on past twenty something
toward eternity.
Some folks tend to measure life
in years upon the earth.
But, it’s not the candles on the cake
that tell you what you’re worth.
And it’s not what you accumulate
as you go from day to day.
Real worth is only measured
by what you give away.
It’s what you do with what you have
that matters in the end.
It’s if you treat each one you meet
as if they were a friend.
Don’t think of being over the hill
or of running out of time.
Just remember, on God’s calendar
you’re always in your prime.
Jeff Hildebrandt © July 31, 2012
Transition
Every day, we make transitions
from what was to what will be;
Moving on past twenty something
toward eternity.
Some folks tend to measure life
in years upon the earth.
But, it’s not the candles on the cake
that tell you what you’re worth.
And it’s not what you accumulate
as you go from day to day.
Real worth is only measured
by what you give away.
It’s what you do with what you have
that matters in the end.
It’s if you treat each one you meet
as if they were a friend.
Don’t think of being over the hill
or of running out of time.
Just remember, on God’s calendar
you’re always in your prime.
Jeff Hildebrandt © July 31, 2012
Friday, December 28, 2012
A Job Offer
The rider came from way up north
and had a job to do.
He was sent in search of wranglers
who could work the LRU.
He said, "The work is steady,
there may be risk involved
but the benefits are worth it
for those who are resolved.
There are lots of different jobs to do.
It’s not all riding fence
or rounding up lost cattle."
To me, it made good sense.
I felt the end of summer
would be here most any day
and a steady job for winter
can be worth more than the pay.
I told the rider, “Sign me up.”
He offered me his hand;
said, “Pard you won’t regret your choice
to ride for this here brand.
No matter what you’re good at
we can use you, that’s our creed.
We only ask you take the time
to help folks who’re in need.
The boss is big on helping out
and doing unto others;
treating folks with kindness
just like you would your brothers."
And as we rode together
he told me of the ranch.
He told me what I had to know
and then I got my chance
to talk with others just like me
who weren’t sure what do to;
the ones who had been searching
for what’s good and right and true.
Before long, there’s a posse
and we’re off to higher ground.
Each rider learns about the ranch
and then they look around
to see who they can bring along
for a big meal and a dance
that just might last forever
at God’s Last Round Up ranch.
Jeff Hildebrandt © Dec. 28, 2012
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