Well I was new at this cowboy stuff
and one day it happened sure enough,
they sent me into town to buy some tack.
So I headed to the hardware store
cause that’s where I’d bought tacks before.
Boy, did I get a laugh when I got back.
So they sent me into town once more
and specified the livery store,
and asked another guy to go along.
When we got there, he said, “if you please,
just wait for me by the saddle trees
and I’ll get what we need and won’t be long.”
Well I looked high and I looked wide
but there weren’t no saddle trees inside
so I walked out the door to look around.
And, not too far from their back door
I found what I was looking for
so I grabbed a hunk of dirt and set on down.
I sure thought I had it made
just setting there in all that shade
till my pardner came outside all in a huff.
That feller stood there, shook his head
“Tenderfoot” was all he said
and I knew I was in trouble, sure enough.
I said “Hold on mister, not so fast,
I only did just what you asked”.
And he said “You’re the dumbest plug around.”
And said that I did “take the cake”.
But I said, “there’s been some mistake,
cause these here are the only trees I found”
Well, I thought sure I’d get the boot,
be told to pack my stuff and scoot,
but the foreman laughed so hard he nearly cried.
Then he told me if I was to last
I’d have to do just one more task
and he knew that I could do it if I tried.
Seems there’s a big horse apple crop
but an early frost caused them to drop
and I should gather all I can in sacks.
He said, “the dry ones leave alone
but bring the nice and ripe ones home”.
And he’ll store them away when he gets back.
I tell you, those horse apples stink,
but I’ve worked hard and now I think
that there must be, oh, twenty bags or more.
He’ll be back some time next week
and I can’t wait for his first peak
at all those bags stacked on his bedroom floor.
Jeff Hildebrandt Copyright 1999